I had packed my bags and was ready to go. I was so angry
that my brother had requested that I help out his wife with the baby, knowing well
that I am older than the girl. ‘I am only doing this because of mummy’, I told
myself over and over again.
“Abosede!” My father called out.
“Sir…” I answered.
My father was outside, playing draft with some of the men on
the street.  I walked out of the room I
shared with Jimoh and went to see him.

“You never go?” He asked.
“How I go take go? Abi na leg I go use?” I ask.
“Ya mama nor give you transport?”
“No…and she don go market…” I say.
“Ha! Oga oo! Oya dey go shop, go ask Chika for transport.”
“Dat one wey not fit release key of freezer….abeg I nor
want insult.”
“Wetin you go do now? Ya brother talk say he want make you
come today…”
“How he go talk say he want make I come and he nor drop transport
money?” I say.
“I don bet my money finish or I for give you money den when
you reach your brother house he go give me my money back.” My father said.
“Mtchewww….make una find money give me ooo…I nor hold
transport.” I say aloud.
My father checks his pocket and brings out two hundred naira
and hands it over to me, I look at the money and hiss.
“Dis money nor go reach oo…you know say I dey occupy two
seat…”
“Take de money comot from my front jare…” My father hisses
at me.
I grumble as I storm back to my room and pick up my bag and
leave the house in anger.
********
“Mile two! Orile Mile two!” The conductor shouts.
I desperately hurry up to enter the bus.
“Madam wia you wan enter?” The conductor asks me.
“Nor be Orile Mile two you dey go?” I ask.
“No…na berger, Toll gate…” He says.
“But na you shout Orile, Mile two now now….”
“E be like say you nor dey hia…” The conductor says to me.
A female passenger already seated in the bus says.
“Abeg nor be Berger I dey go, na Orile…” The passenger
says and is about to alight.
“Madam siddon…nothing dey happen.” The conductor says to
her.
I look at the conductor in chagrin, I was used to this kind
of treatment, no one wanted to inconvenience their passengers. I hiss and begin
climbing the bus, the conductor tries dragging me down to no avail.
“Wia you wan enter? I don tell you say na toll gate I dey
go.”
“Eh…even if you like, dey go moon, I go follow dis bus
reach dia.” I say.
“See dis woman ooo…na one chance motor you enter so ooo…na
otokoto work we dey do ooo.” The conductor warns.
The passengers in the bus yelp in shock and rush to alight.
“Madam comot for road ooo…abeg I get family…which one be
one chance again…” One passenger says in fear.
“Dis Lagos get as e be…abeg Otokoto nor go use me do
soup…” A male passenger says and alights.
I quickly take a seat in the bus and watch as the passengers
quickly alight.
“Wia una dey go na? Come back…abeg make we dey go…na
play I dey play.” The conductor pleads.
“Which one be come back? Nor be you use mouth talk say your
bus na one chance?” Another man says as he hurries away.
When the whole passengers had left and I was the only one
left in the bus, the conductor turns to regard me in anger.
“I nor dey go again, oya come down!” He shouts.
“Come carry me.” I say.
The man’s eyes widen as he stares at me and obviously thinks
of the task I had just set for him.
“Me ke? Carry you come down! I never chop de kain chop wey
go fit support ya weight.” He says.
“If you nor fit carry me comot for dis motor, I nor go fit
come down….” I say adjusting well enough on the seat and making myself
comfortable.
The conductor looked at me and hissed, then after a while he
began calling out destinations. “Orile, Mile Two…”
Twenty minutes later, the bus was full.
“Madam…dat seat wia you dey so, na five dey siddon for dia
ooo…” The conductor shouts at me.
“We don complete na…” I say.
“You blind? Abi you nor fit count?  Na five dey dat seat? Nor be three?” The
conductor shouts at me.

“Sister abeg shift…” The girl seated at the edge of my
seat says to me.
“I don shift na….you want make I enter door?” I spat.
“Abeg ooo…I nor insult you ooo…make you nor kukuma
insult me…” The girl says to me.
“You dey craze!” I say to her.
“See dis fool! See as you be…ass hole! Radio without
battery, monkey without banana….balloon like you!” The girl says to me.
“Ahhh…dem nor born your ancestors well….come make I slap
you for dis bus…” I shout.
“Ahhh…” The passengers shout.
“Sister abeg….shut up ooo…dis woman fit use hand kee you
hia…ooo…” One man says to the girl.

“Why she dey run mouth na? Na because of her, driver never
move motor…we suppose dey five for seat but she don short am to three. If she
know say she wan enter bus she for hold money for two seat.” The girl spat.
“I don tell una say na five people dey siddon for dia
so…if una like yaself…make una dress for passenger.” The conductor warned.
“Oya come make I lap you…” A lady seated on the same seat
with me said to the girl.
“How we go lap ourselves for chair and still pay transport money…”
The girl huffed in anger.

The girl tried adjusting on the seat to allow another passenger seat beside us. The passenger tried seating but couldn’t.

“How I go inconvenience myself and still pay two hundred?”

“Madam abeg come down from my motor!” The driver rushes to the door of the bus and yells at me.

“Na me launch dis motor today, na me be first passenger for inside all dis passengers dem. If you wan comot me from bus, you go use ya hand carry me come down.” I yell.

I could see the confusing expressions, cross the driver’s features and I knew he was trying to figure out how to get me out of his vehicle.

“Oga driver, nor dey waste our time abeg….if you nor dey go, talk…” A male passenger said.

“Na God go punish you ooo…even with dis kain economy, you wan make I lose two passenger money. Na thunder of God go fire you!” The driver curses and storms off.

Soon, he climbed into the driver’s seat and kicked the engine to life. 

Photo Credit: 
1. www.olx.com.ng

To be continued next week….

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