I yawn and open my eyes,
only to startle as my mother stood before me.
“Mummy!” I exclaim in
“Madam, shebi you know say
time dey go ni?” My mother warned.
“Good morning ma.” I
“Wetin be time?” My mother
I looked at the clock, it
was ten thirty am.
“Na ten thirty ma.” I said.

“Na God go help you if by
the time I enter my room come out and you never leave dis house go find work.”
“Na by force? Na everyday
pesin wey dey look for work dey find?” I retort.
“I don talk my own.” My
mother said heading towards the door.
“Mummy just talk true, you
nor like me. From de day wey you born me, you nor just like me at all…” I said.
“Abosede! Go find work,
stop to dey chop my money!”
“But na only me dey chop
am? Shebi daddy dey chop im own.”
“Dat na my husband and we
know how we take dey settle our own.” My mother said as she left the room.
I hiss and stretch till I
heard a snap in my back bone. Jimoh enters the room dressed in his school
“Auntie…I dey go school.”
He said.
“Oya go come.” I said
He stood there and looked
at me for a bit.
“Wetin, why you dey look me
like lukumon?”
“Sorry sister…” He said
but still stood there.
“If you wan beg me for
money, I nor get de one wey I go give you ooo…” I said.
“Nor be money I wan ask
for, I hear as mummy dey talk say you must find work.” He said to me.
“Na how dat matter come
consign rat like you?”
“I just wan tell you say
our canteen for school dey find person wey go dey sell food give we children
dem.” He said.
“Eh! Your canteen for
school? How you take know say dem dey find pesin?”
“Na yesterday when I dey buy
food, n aim I hear when Iya Titi wey dey sell food for canteen talk say she dey
find pesin wey go help am sell.”
I smiled at Jimoh, he was a
little boy but he had sense.
“Oya dey run go school, I
go come ya school. Make I baff first.”
Jimoh nodded and smiled as
he left the room. I stood up from the bed and got ready for my bath. I was
ready to wipe the smirk off my mother’s face. I was just about to leave the
room when my phone rang, it was Bidemi.
“Wetin you want?” I spat
into the phone.
“Relax na…cool down.” She
“You nor be better pesin
ooo…how you go cook food finish, chop am with ya boyfriend?”
“E don do abeg, we don
settle na…” Bidemi cajoled.
“Wetin you want?”
“Well, I don engage ooo…I wan begin sell asoebi so I want make you join my asoebi gials.”
“You don engage ke? To
“You nor well ooo…why you
dey talk like say you nor know my husband.”
“Which husband? I nor know
am ooo…” I said.
“Stop am Abosede! If na
play, stop am! You nor remember the guy wey dey my house de day you comot?”
“Wait…de man wey dey use
hand hammer you so.”
“Abeg all na love.” Bidemi
“You wan die? E be like say
you nor dey value ya life.”
“Free me jare…you nor know say e mean say he love me?”
“I nor get sense reach you
ooo but my sense pass you for dis one. Bidemi, advice yaself. How you go marry
man wey dey beat you. When he marry you na to kill you be dat.”
“Abosede, you dey buy my
asoebi or not?”
“Wetin I go do na? I go
find money buy am but I don advice you as friend suppose advice friend. Man
never finish oo…”
Bidemi cut the call before
I could continue my statement. I hissed and left the room, bound for the
There was a long line of
buckets at the bathroom door and the person inside the bathroom was taking so
much time.
“Who dey for inside
baffroom? Abeg I wan baff ooo…I get work to find.” I shouted.
I heard a giggle from
inside the bathroom and soon, the door opened and Nedu and a light-skinned babe
stepped out of the bathroom.
“So for una mind, na for
inside Jacuzzi una dey shebi?” I ask.
“Abosede mind yaself
ooo…dis our lave nor consign you ooo…biko parkia well.” Nedu said.

“I don tell you ooo Nedu.
Today na dis yellow paw paw, tomorrow go be blackie…hope say you know say
AIDS nor dey show for face.” I yell at him.
“Na which one come consign
you for my life ehn? See dis bush gial ooo…na because ya mama dey feed you
for dis compound na im make you dey run mouth like tap. If to say na mama nor
save money build dis house, you for don lean like barb wire.”
“You dey insult me?” I
“Na you start am first.”
Nedu said.
“Baby, let’s go…don’t let
her get to you.” Nedu’s companion said.
“Wetin dis one dey talk?
See as you don bleach yaself sotte you wan resemble cat. I pity you ooo…ya
fellow gials dey do proper runs but ya own na for face me I slap you e end.”
The lady’s eyes widen at my
insult as she dropped the bucket she was holding and lunged at me.
“Baby…biko…don’t lower
yaself to her level…biko.” Nedu said dragging the lady.
“No, let me finish her! Let
me show her the stuff I’m made of.” She screamed.
“Come na. Dem don sit for
ya belle before? All the food wey you chop since last year go comot from ya
anus.” I said.
“I’ll deal with you!” The
lady screamed at me.
Nedu dragged her away.
“Nne, leave her…biko…”
He said as he pulled her towards his room.
I pick up my bucket with
water and march to the bathroom, during my argument with Nedu and his
lady-friend, I hadn’t noticed that mama Chima had entered the bathroom.
“Who dey for inside dia? I
wan baff!” I shout.
“I don rub soap for my eyes
already and my bucket don dey queue since, the hot water don cold.” Mama Chima
said from the bathroom.
“Oya open door, make I join
you…I dey go find work.” I said as I knocked at the bathroom door.
I heard a quick splash as
Mama Chinedu opened the door and emerged.
“You nor baff again?” I
“Noo…I don baff finish.”
She said.
I entered the bathroom and
just before I locked the door behind me, I heard Sisi Oge ask her.
“Na now now you don baff
“You nor hia when Abosede
talk say she wan join me for inside baffroom? Abeg dat baffroom too small to contain
de two of us. I nor want make she press me enter wall. If I nor open door for
am, you know say na trouble, and if I allow am enter, anoda trouble. Biko, na
only one head I get.” She said.
I locked the door and
hissed, they could say whatever they liked, that’s their business! I thought.

To be continued on Wednesday…


  1. I dunno if it's just me but I thought I should bring it up anyways. Since Friday, I think, I've not been getting email notifications from your site. I tried to re-subscribe only to find out that I'm still on the list. What could be the problem plz?

    • Hi Deborah,
      Thank you for pointing this out as I only just noticed that there's been a problem as soon as I read your comment. I'll look into this. Please bear with me.


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