I had just beaten up
Theresa and I watched her lie still on the ground.
“Na me and you today!
Get up! Get up ooo…make we fight this fight to finish.” I said panting
Theresa still lay down
on the ground.

“You nor ask people who I
be before you come dey attack me for my dormot. Ask wella ooo…I be terrorist!
Notorious terrorist!” I shouted again.
Theresa still wasn’t
moving. Was it just me or was she really still? I asked myself. I have been engaged
in countless fights all through my years and I’ve seen this tactic used over
and over again. The opponent always lies down as though lifeless, waiting for
you to fall for her pretense after which she strikes! So I watched her closely
and when she didn’t seem to be moving, I took a step forward, then another
step, till I touched her body.
No answer.
Still no answer.
“Ahhhh… I don kee pesin
ooo…Senorita don do am…my mama talk am ooo…she say, one day you go kee pesin
with ya kain wahala…” I cried and fell to the ground, clutching my head in
I turned her upward and bent to feel her heart beat, I didn’t know where the heart was located so I
did it just the way I saw it done in movies. I placed my ear on her stomach and
waited. There was no sound.
“Chei! Senorita…na devil
born you? Which kain winch you be ooo…” I say as I bite my finger regretfully.
I looked around the small room and sobbed.
“Wia my cloth ooo…make I comot for dis place, e nor get how dem nor go lock me for cell sake of dis
matter. I don kee pesin…hei!” I scramble about for my clothing and place them
all in a small bag at the corner and zip it up. Turning to look at Theresa
again, I sniff back my tears and flee the scene, ducking behind the shadows so
as to leave the church premises unseen.
I had nowhere to go,
Solo had been my only hope and the church which I called home was never going
to welcome me again. I had killed one of its best sisters and I was so sure
that they couldn’t wait to hand me over to the police. I had just five hundred
naira with me and I was hungry, having eaten just once and that was in the wee
hours of the morning. Now, as the day darkened to night-time, my stomach
growled badly. I sight an akara joint at a corner and walk towards it, some
people are gathered around the fire, so I join them. The akara seller greets
me with a smile and keeps turning her akara balls on the fire while I wait
patiently for it to get ready. The akara gets ready and as soon as she takes
them out of the fry pan, and puts it in the pan, people from nowhere gather
around and start shouting.
“Akara twenty naira…”
“Give me seventy naira
“I want akara one
I was perplexed, ‘which
kain palava be dis one? Wia all dese people from come?’ I ask myself as I bark
my order at the akara seller who ignored me. The woman was just selling to people that just
came and I wasn’t finding it funny.
“Madam…I don dey hia
tey…which one be ya own na?” I asked.
She didn’t answer,
infact everyone ignored me as though I just spoke rubbish. The woman kept
selling akara till it finished. I was mad!
“Wia all de akara go?
You be winch? I don dey hia since na…” I screamed in anger.
“Auntie cool down…anoda
one go soon enter fire….” The akara seller said to me in a calm voice.
“Wetin you mean by dat
one? Na who go calm down? I resemble AC?” I shout as I angrily take the pan,
fling it on the roadside and using my leg, I shove the pan of hot oil down from the
fire. Everyone screamed and ran away as they didn’t want the hot oil to burn
them, including the akara seller. Suddenly, I felt strong hands grab me from
the scene, some men hurriedly dragged me away shouting that I was possessed.
“Na who she be? Dem send
am come?” Some people asked.
“I don see am before,
she dey live for that church wey dey dat side. Abeg, mama akara, tell dese men
make dem carry am go her church, make dem pay you for damages.” One lady said.
I screamed in protest as
the akara seller told the men to carry me back to where I had just escaped from
and just like dat I drew a huge crowd to the church.
As soon as I got to the
church, I was carried to the prayer meeting which was holding at that
particular hour. Prayers stopped immediately the church members saw me carried
in by the mob. I started crying when I saw all the people who had taken me as
part of their family. When I was finally dropped to the ground at the center of
the prayer meeting hall, I decide to confess my sins- despite the heavy noise
from the people that had brought me in-, as I opened my mouth to speak, I looked
up at the congregation, and who did I see? Sister Theresa, seated at the front row
and smiling at me.
“You! You don die na!” I wail.
Sister Theresa laughed.
“Now the world knows you
attract trouble like the fly.” She said.

I groaned aloud and
started crying while listening to the akara seller recount the story of how I ended
her business for the night.


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