There was something about
sister Theresa that I could not place a finger on, whenever she prayed it was
like she was having an epileptic attack just as she did now.

I had followed
Solo and his girlfriend to their church where there was accommodation for me,
they said it was temporary but I was well fed, sheltered and clothed-even
though I detested most of the clothing, I wore them all the same. The unusual
thing that happened was that immediately I moved into the church quarters, the
so-called sister Theresa insisted on moving in with me, but I didn’t mind at first
that was before I knew about her round-the-clock prayers and the most annoying
thing was the way she involved me in her conversations with God. It was either
‘May God deliver Senorita’ or ‘I send out every evil spirit from the body of
Senorita into the bottomless pit of hell.’

Now, as I lay down on the bed wide
awake, I stared at the clock, it was five thirty am, I hissed and turned to
face the wall. I found it hard sleeping again because I had already woken up.
When I finally made a resolve to shut my eyes tight and go to sleep, I felt a
warm hand over my head, it was Theresa’s and she was pushing my head back and
forth and mumbling some words, I could not take it anymore, I wrestled myself
out of her grip and stood up from the bed.
“Wetin! Una give me room for
church jeje, before I fit talk jack, you don land for my room take possession, I
nor talk. You go wake up for night pray sotte seven go knack, I nor complain.
Now, de one wey you wan start be dis one, I go use teeth break dat ya hand if
you touch my head again.” I shout.
“Sister Senorita…c’mon, I was
just praying for you and honestly, the pastor is definitely going to lay his
hands on you so, this is no big deal.” Sister Theresa said to me in a calm
“Dem nor born una well…” I
“Excuse me? You don’t talk like
that about anointed ministers of God. You should be grateful that we gave you
accommodation and we even feed you.” Sister Theresa said still in a calm voice.
“I send una? Nor be una carry
me come church? I dey my house jeje dey wait for my parole with Onochie, na so
una show face. If una know say una nor go leave me jeje for dis
place ehn, tell me ooo…I go pack my load go Oga Solo place atleast him nor dey
wake pesin for night and even if him wake me for night, me I go wake because I
nor know if na jolly him wan do…”
“What? That’s my boyfriend you
are talking about?” Sister Theresa said to me in disbelief.
“You know am before? Na me
first everybody for dis una church know Solo, u hear me so.”
“I understand your paranoia,
Solomon gave me details about your behavior so I shouldn’t be worried.” Sister
Theresa said, more to herself than to me.
“Wetin dis one dey talk?
Mtcheww abeg comot for my front jare make I go piss, abi you want make I piss
for inside room?”
“I am so sorry sister Senorita,
I know I might have ruffled you and for that please receive my sincere
apology.” Sister Theresa said to me.
I didn’t even reply, I stalked
out of the room and headed to the bathroom. It was high time I emptied my
Solo came to see me bearing
gifts, I was over the moon with joy. Sister Theresa stood at the side, smiling
and glancing at us, I could see the hatred in her eyes but, ‘who sigh?’ I knew
Solo first and I was determined to prove that to everyone I meet.
“So how are you doing? I am
sorry that I haven’t been here to see you after dropping you off. You know that
I have quit the taxi business and have started working in a small company.”
“Oga Solo…you know say I nor go
ever fault you…na you be my all.” I say.
“Me? Your all? I can’t be your
all my dear…”
“Wetin be dat one? Shebi you
nor like me again?”
“Don’t be like that Senorita…I
am here to help you.” Solo said, and then turning to look at Theresa who still
stood at the side, he nodded at her and she walked up to meet us. “Theresa has
just given me a very good idea…you know that we hold classes during the week,
Adult evening classes to help people speak better and write better. We would
love you to be a part of it…” Solo said to me.
“Me wey don finish school
since…wetin I go dey do for dia? Abi you want make I teach? I fit try teach
English language.”
Theresa laughed and I glared at
her angrily.
“No…we want you to be a student
in the school. Senorita you need to upgrade.”
“Up wetin? I don dey up
na…shebi you don see my room? E fine ehn…if not for dis sister Theresa wey pack
her load come join me for dia sef..mtcheww. She nor get house?”
“You see…Sister Theresa has
your best interests in mind…she is here to look after you.”
“Oga Solo…come make I tell you
something.” I say as I move closer to whisper into his ear. “Dis Theresa ehn, e
be like say she sick ooo…if you see am for night ehn! She dey shake like paper
wey dey burn…”
Solo laughed and pat me at the
“My dear don’t worry about
that…just get ready to get some education. Many ladies can speak pidgin English
but their English is quite impeccable as well…”
“Dat one you dey yarn na dust.”
I replied.
“I’ll get you the necessary
materials and you’ll begin your classes…okay.” Solo said to me.
I rolled my eyes and looked
away. Solo stood up and walked to meet Theresa and hand in hand, they walked
out of sight. Hissing loudly I mutter under my breath;
“Dis time I nor go ever slack,
Solo na my man and I must catch am by force by fire!”



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