“Ahh…Janet you wicked ooo…chai! So you fit do ya sister dis
kain tin ah!” I cried as I held on to the bedpost while Janet and Oga Fredo
dragged me and tried to release my grip from the bed post.
“Na lai ooo…Senorita, ya own don finish today…u go come join
me marry dis man weda you like am or not.” Janet said panting.

“Chei…dem don finish me ooo…wetin carry me come ya house na…why
I nor sleep under bridge…Senorita!” I screamed and groped the bed tightly.
“We must to make sure say, we announce our marriage before
compound people today, I don gather dem for front of room door.” Oga Fredo said
to me.
I hold the bedpost while I make it difficult for them to
drag me outside, I hear the loud noise from Onochie who has been speaking aloud
since he reached Janet’s door.
“Abeg ooo…Oga Fredo! Janet! Come make una open de door abeg…which
kain nonsense announcement una wan make sef? E get wia pesin dey goo…” He said
from outside.
“We dey come ooo…make una wait small.” Janet shouted.
“I nor dey do again…Janet…Oga Fredo…abeg make una leave me…I
wan comot from dis house today.” I say to them.
“Comot from where? This house? For wetin? Make you go tell
people say my thing nor complete? You dey craze!” Oga Fredo shouted.
“You see wetin ya long throat do you? Na wetin do me ooo…wen
I see Oga Fredo, if you see how I hustle am ehn, till I see say he nor be wetin
I think say im be…” Janet said to me.
“Wetin you mean by dat one?” Oga Fredo spat at Janet.
“Which one be wetin I mean? I don tell you na…if I nor let
devil push me to comot ya trouser, I for no see wetin my eyes no fit handle?”
Janet challenged.
“I go slap dat ya face if you talk rubbish again.” Oga Fredo
said to Janet in warning.
“Slap wetin? My face? For what na?” Janet challenged.
Oga Fredo let go of his hold on me and dragging Janet by the
shirt he pushed her to the ground.
“You must kee me….lai laii…you must kee me…if you nor kee me
today….” Janet wailed.
I stood up and watched them, Oga Fredo kicked Janet, while
Janet held on to his trouser. Outside, I could hear the loud noise from the
neighbours.
“Wetin dey happen? Janet! Abi ya husband call us hia to show
us how e dey panel beat you?” One of the neighbours asked.
“I fear oh!” Others said.
“If una nor open dis door…I go break am down for ground…dis
na my papa compound and I nor want make dem kee anybody for hia…so I go count
to three, if una nor open door, I go break am.” Onochie warned.
Janet and Oga Fredo seemed to be oblivious to the happenings
outside the house, they were busy fighting eachother.
“One…two…three…”Onochie screamed triumphantly. “I don warn
una so…I wan break door but una must know say, if I break dis door, na una go
still repair am because I don warn una.”
I watched the door fall to the ground with Onochie falling
with it, he landed on the ground and yelped in pain.
“My hand ooo…chai…which kain tenants dey dis house sef? Una
go pay for my hospital ooo…” Onochie warned.
“Wetin dey happen hia?” Some neighbours asked as soon as
they had separated Janet and Oga Fredo from killing themselves.
“Na dis stupid man.” Janet said.
“Noo…na dis idiot woman.” Oga Fredo said.
“Ahh nor be una dey do love pass? Wetin happen na? I hope
say nor be man-wrapper cause dis fight ooo.” One of the tenants said while
looking at me.
I knew that I was the one being referred to as man-wrapper
but I didn’t care, I wanted to leave the house and run as far as possible. I
wanted to get married, yes, but to a man with no instrument? That was out of
the question!
“Wetin happen for hia? Una call us say una get announcement,
na dis fight be de announcement?” A neighbour asked.
I stared at Janet and we exchanged glances, Oga Fredo looked
at us in warning, at that instant, it was like Janet’s mind and mine were
synced, we cried out.

“We nor want Oga Fredo for dis house again!”

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