I was mad! Very mad! How
come the ‘dead’ Theresa was alive and well? I watched as the mob who had brought
me into the church couldn’t wait to crucify me.
“Ah…Theresa! No
be me kill you just now? ” I asked her in shock.
“Me? It’ll take
more than someone like you to kill me dear. I am not as weak as you
think.” Theresa spat at me.

“Mummy, Daddy, una
think say na pesin be this? Na ghost ooo…Theresa don die ooo…” I screamed, while informing the pastors that Theresa was a ghost.
The church ministers were
shocked at my outburst. Here I was crying that I had killed one of their church
members while a mob was determined to have my head.
“Shut up Senorita!
You are a problem and a big one at that!” Shouted the head pastor already
angry with himself for bringing me into his fold.
“My akara…dis
gial thruway am for ground. Na for sake of God ooo…hot oil for burn me and my
customers.” The akara seller persisted.
“We are sorry madam
but you should know that we don’t owe you anything. This girl attends our
church and that’s all.” One of the women leaders said in anger.
“Ha!” The
Akara seller shouted placing her hands on her head. “Who go come pay my money na?”
“Wetin una mean?
Dis gial must to pay for damages.” Shouted one of the men who brought me in.
“Do we resemble her
parents? She is a young woman that can take care of herself, don’t bother us if
she destroys your property. She’s a matured citizen of this nation so…”
Theresa said.
“Let’s calm down
and because of the love of God, let’s pay this lady for the damages Senorita
caused her. ” The head pastor started.
“Noooo…pastor noo…have
you forgotten all she caused? The urine she used to cook our rice and the way she mislead the servant of God, Solomon? “Theresa said.
“I agree with
sister Theresa, let’s chase this girl out with her bad luck.” Another
church member said.
“I agree, we will
send her out of the church but if we don’t pay and settle this matter they
might beat her up as soon as they leave the church premises.” The pastor said,
turning to face the akara seller, he asked. “Madam, how much is your money?”
“Eight thousand five
hundred naira sir.” The akara seller replied.
“Treasurer! Please bring
eight thousand five hundred naira from the purse and give to this woman.” The
Pastor said.
“Ahhh…pastor! The church
is in debt ooo…we haven’t paid our rent yet and you’re taking money from the
purse.” One of the church members accused.
“We are called upon to
be our brother’s keeper. Let’s pay up the money she owes and wash our hands off
her.” The pastor said.
The treasurer brings out
the money and hands it over to the pastor who gives it to the woman. She collects
the money hastily places it in her bra and storms off with the mob at her
heels. I have been observing silently, while seated on the bare ground.
“Sister Senorita, please
get up, go to your room, pack your things and leave this place.” The pastor
“Oga…wetin you want make
I do na…I nor get wia to go…” I cry.
“You nor get village? Carry ya wahala go meet ya mama for village jare.” A
clearly irritated church member said to me.
“I take God beg una…dis
nor be my fault. Na sister Theresa cause am. She nor suppose die dat time wey
we dey fight. If to say she wake up dat time, dis thing for nor happen.” I
“What is this girl
talking about? Sister Theresa, what is she saying?” The pastor’s wife asked
“I have no idea ma…”
Sister Theresa said with a smirk.
“Please go… leave our
church, you have brought to us, more harm than good.” The church members booed.
“I nor get wia to go…abeg
una…” I cried.
They didn’t listen to my
pleas, Theresa went to the room where I had occupied the past few weeks and
bringing out the small bag where I kept my clothes, she threw it at me.
“Get out of this church!”
She shouted.
I picked up my bags,
shook my head pitifully and left the church, I was already nearing the gate
when someone approached me, I had seen him several times at church.
“Sister, take this money
and enter a bike to number 5 Iyamu crescent, wait for me there.” He said as he
pressed the money into my palms.
I took the money from
him, baffled at the luck I had, smiling to myself, I walked out of the church
while he hurriedly returned to the church.
“Dis na just de
beginning, Theresa! I go finish ya life for dis Lagos so…” I said and whistled
loudly as I called a bike-man. My new life had just begun.



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