At home, I sat down to study, it had been a long day at
school and as soon as the school bus dropped me off at home, I was eager to
re-learn what the teacher had taught during class.
Gina walked into the sitting room where I sat cross-legged
on the ground and spoke to me.
“I see that you are studying. How was school today?” She
“E go well…” I replied.
“Senorita, you attend school to help improve your vocabulary
and not to remain redundant in your old ways. You must try to stop speaking
pidgin…I am paying a lot of money in school fees you know.” Gina reminded me.

It was no surprise that the money she was spending on my
fees upset her too much but I didn’t care, wasn’t she the one that triggered my
epilepsy? I thought.
As soon as she sat down to watch television, Gabriel came
into the house, he had company, a young lady. Gina turned to look at him and I
did the same, making sure I measured up the girl, ‘who was she?’ I thought.
“Splendid, meet my sister Gina and our family….err..friend,
Senorita!” He said to the girl, then to Gina and I, he said. “Meet Splendid, my
new girl.”
“Ehen!” I shouted in shock.
Everyone looked at me, then quickly, Gina turned to regard
the girl and said.
“Welcome Splendid…what a peculiar name.” Gina said.
“Yes…thank you…my dad loves very peculiar names.”
The girl said and sat down.
‘Splendid, my foot.’ I thought. ‘What rubbish name.’
“What can we offer you?” Gina asked sweetly.
I was instantly jealous, how could this girl get such affection
from Gina at first glance, I could remember the day Gina saw me for the first
time, she didn’t like me at first sight and I’m sure the feeling hasn’t changed.
“Anything…I’ll have any soft drink…” The girl said.
“Ohhh…I forgot, we don’t have any drinks in the fridge,
Senorita, please could you rush out to the supermarket and get Splendid something
to drink?” Gina said, rummaging through her purse on the chair for some money.
“I dey read book!” I supply.
“Abegi go and get Splendid something to drink.” Gabriel said
“Excuses me?” I said snottily at Gabriel.
The girl suddenly erupts into laughter.
“I told you she speaks rubbish….” Gabriel said to her,
referring to me.
“She said…excuses me? Oh my God that’s too funny.” The girl
laughed loud.
I suddenly grew offended at them.
“Shebi na laugh una dey laugh me abi? Shebi na laugh una dey
laugh?” I say in warning.
“Take this money and get her something to drink….” Gina said
and handed the money to me.
I took the money and dashed out of the house, still hearing their
laughter echo in my ears. I reach the supermarket at the nick of time.
“Baibeee…” The shop keeper flirts with me.
“Oga Samson…” I say blushing. I like Oga Samson a lot, yes, he is married to one annoying multi-coloured woman whose facial complexion is
very different from her arms and legs but I didn’t care, I always looked
forward to the jara he gave to me after every purchase.
“Senoriri…my baibeee how you dey?”
“I dey fine sir…how work?”
“Same same… wetin carry you come?”
“I wan buy drink…”
“Which kain?” He asked.
“Malt…I nor even remember wetin they send me make I buy…Malt
na soft drink abi?” I ask.
“All na sweet sweet something….” He says to me and leaves
his counter to stand my me.
As soon as his hands brush my side, I blush and batt my
lashes at him, there is no one at the store except the two of us and Oga Samson noticed that too.
“I see you dis morning as you dey go school…you nor even
wave…” He says to me as he inches up close to me.
“I…I…dey for inside school bus…” I say shyly.
“That ya school uniform fit you well well ooo…I like as e
hold ya bress ehn!”
“Ahhhh…how you see my bress for inside school bus?” I ask
“Na only you I dey see….my baibeee…” He says.
He’s about to come closer when the supermarket door opens
and a customer walks in, Oga Samson quickly rushes back to his counter and
speaks professionally to the customer. I walk about the shop, heading to the
freezer to take the drink. I take the malt in the plastic bottle and I’m about
to leave when I see some dead cockroaches at the corner.
“Una kee cockroach for hia?” I ask aloud.
“Dem plenty ehn? Na flit we use finish dia life!” He says to
me as he attends to the other customer.
I almost ignore the cockroaches but stop short when
something occurs to me. I quickly walk to the corner, crouch low and pick up
one dead cockroaches. Smiling slyly, I forcefully open the bottle cover and put a dead
cockroach inside the malt bottle and close it tight.
“Baibee…you don shop finish?” He asks.
I walk towards him with a smile, satisfied with myself. The
customer had gone and the shop was empty.
“Anything for me?” I ask flirting with him.
Oga Samson rummages through his drawer and brings out a
shortbread biscuit and hands it over to me.
“Thank you…” I say in smiles.
“Is that all…you nor go add jara join?” He said to me.
I smile and watch as he leaves his counter and walks towards
me and on reaching me, he pulls me close to him and engulfs my lips and nose in
a noisy kiss after which he slaps my buttocks playfully.
“De tin wey you dey do me ehn? Senorita!” He says.

“See you larer….” I say slyly, pushing the biscuit into my
dress and tucking it into my bra. As soon as I was done, I rush out of the shop eager to deliver the drink
I had been sent to buy.



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