Hey Guys,
Sorry about not posting yesterday. I was totally swamped
with work. Enough of me already! How was your weekend? Hope it was swell?

Today, I’ll do a short write-up on the ‘Male Factor’. ‘What’s
that?’ You may ask. ‘What’s she talking about?’ Well…that’s the topic that came
to my mind on Sunday during thanksgiving at my church. So, there’s this man who
I have known for quite a while, I knew when he got married too, I was invited
to the wedding but I didn’t go because I couldn’t make it. After their wedding,
his wife gave birth to a girl, I see them in church every Sunday so I knew the
sex of the child. Last Sunday, he and his wife came to the altar for thanksgiving and
child dedication of their second baby. You should have seen the way my eyes
searched the crowd, all to see the sex of the child. It was for fear of being a
tatafoo that I didn’t stand up, instead I watched till the child was
raised up to the altar, then, I was satisfied. I had seen the baby and through the outfit of the baby so I instantly knew sex of the child too. It was a boy! I think I felt this mixture of
disbelief at myself and maybe relief when I saw that it was a male child. And
that folks, is what the African society has imprinted into its citizens minds
and into mine at some point.
‘Why is there this sense of hidden pride when we find out
that it’s a male child?’ What’s that underlying sense of relief that we,
especially women feel when we birth male children? That feeling of ‘I can
conquer the world’ ‘No one can talk to me anyhow!’ ‘Have you seen my boys?’ especially
here in Africa.
You’d hear the usual saying of ‘the next one will be a boy’
in a typical scenario when a woman has birthed one or two girls. Aren’t we all
important? Both boys and girls? Male and female?
There was this advert that I had an issue with, it was aired
some years ago, it paints a scenario of a mother who was waiting on the phone
to be told that her daughter had given birth. And at the end of the day, she receives
the message ‘Mama na Boy ooo!’ I’m not trying to run down the idea of the brand
behind the advert, just showing a typical example of what the African society
or maybe some societies that are not even African have embedded into the minds
of its people. Why wasn’t it ‘Mama na girl ooo’? Many families in the world have
only female children and you’ll agree with me that countless female children
have done more good than males (not trying to run down any of the sexes).
Men are strong, most times fearless and they are necessary in
every household and so are women. I am not going to go the feminist way on this
post but I really want to understand why many women aren’t allowed to be as
joyful at the birth of female child than a male child. I used to know someone
who said and I quote ‘If a woman has female children, she’s sitting with on bum
on the chair and if she has male children, then she’s sitting with her full
buttocks” and just in case you are wondering if the person that made that
statement is male or female, she’s female. 
My grandmother shared a story with
me some time ago, she told me of an incident that happened when she birthed one
of her children at the hospital long time ago. She said that there were two
women who gave birth on the same day. One had a boy and the other, a girl. The
one with the girl already had eight girls and she cried that she couldn’t go
back home to her family with a female child again. The one with the male child
had four boys and wanted a girl because she personally wanted a female child of
her own. There in the hospital the women exchanged the children but when the
woman who had eight girls was visited by her husband and presented to him the
boy from the other woman, the husband instantly knew that the child wasn’t his.
The man instantly told the woman to send the child back to the rightful owner
and that he wasn’t going to take another man’s child into his home. He said
that he knew his children and that he loved them and even if society was
wagging their tongues, he wasn’t interested in their opinion (now that’s a one
in a million man especially at that time which was possibly the sixties or seventies). I was really moved by this story as I always am with all my
maternal grandmother’s tales, she’s a good story teller. (Maybe I got some
gifts of storytelling from her, though my family claims it’s from my two
granddads who were columnists for the village newspaper).
I guess when growing up, I never understood and till date I do
not understand why boys are prized over girls. Through primary school to
secondary school I didn’t understand anything perhaps because of the kind of
upbringing I had where we females were given male tasks and vice versa and no
one was given more rights than the other. But when I got into the university
and mingled with thousands of people from different backgrounds, I started to
feel the bias. I struggled to understand though but listening to what popped
out from female’s mouths made me wonder if women were not meant to be.
Image Source: www.blackenterprise.com
I once went to pay a member of my church a visit with
friends because his wife recently delivered of a baby girl. When we got in and
after exchanging pleasantries and holding the baby, one of my friends said to
the father of the baby ‘this baby will be bigger than you ooo, she’s even
prettier.’ You wouldn’t believe my shock at the words that went flying out of
his mouth, he said in reply. ‘How would she be bigger than me? Is she not a
girl? A girl cannot be bigger than a man!” Yes guys, that’s what a newborn baby’s
father said of his daughter, a girl who might be his rock tomorrow.
I try not to ponder too hard on this but one thing I know
is, I will not (I repeat) I will not treat any of my children different because
of sex. And even though I might be guilty of having a tiny itty bit of the Male factor, I’ll defend myself, it’s not my fault, it’s society’s fault...i might be stoned at this (I’m so good at running away from
blame)
What do you guys think? Is there any sense to all that I wrote
here? Or am I imagining it?
Thank you for reading and please share this post and say
something at the comment section. I love reading your thoughts.

Happy Tuesday and do have a lovely week ahead.

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