“You guys just sat there and did nothing ehn!” David said to
his friends, his voice was veiled with disappointment.
“Of course not man! Your in-laws didn’t even give you the
chance to speak lest of all the two of us.” Chima said in his defence.
“Na wah for you ooo…Nathan, you just dey comot dey make
phone call anyhow, na wetin we go dia for? You for off phone na.” David said.
The men were headed to David’s car, Nathan and Chima had
parked their cars in David’s compound and rode with him to his wife’s family
“Na wah for ya wife family ooo…dem nor even smile small
sef…” Chima said hissing.

“Well, I don’t expect them to put up such a glowing
appearance, anyway, David beat their daughter. Imagine if it’s David’s daughter
that was beaten by her husband, I’m sure David will shoot the guy dead.”
David cringed to think of any man hitting his daughter and
he suddenly felt the pain his wife’s father must be feeling.
“I wish I could take back the hands of time man! I wish I
can control my temper. I brought this upon myself…” David lamented.
“Cheer up man! They said they’ll get back to you, let’s pray
for a positive result.” Nathan said patting David at the back.
“I hope they give me a positive answer. The most hurting
part was that Nnenna didn’t even show face ehn, is that how much she hates me?”
David said almost getting emotional.
“Abeg nor cry for hia ooo…which kain man you be sef?”
Chima chided.
“It’s not easy living without her.” David supplied.
“You nor get woman? Nor dey dull na…” Chima said.
David looked at him angrily.
“Will you stop that nonsense talk? What is wrong with you?
Yes, I haven’t been with any other woman, so what?”
“Lai lai…I nor fit dey ya predicament and I go dey chill
dey wait for my wife to come back home ooo…conji na bastard. Women boku for
streets biko. Do you know that soon, it’ll be three women to one man? With the
way female kids are being popped out, guys are going extinct.” Chima said
sounding stupid.
“Are you high? Which kain talk be dat one?” Nathan asked
irked. “Na wia you hear dat kain news?”
“Well…I don talk my own.” Chima said.
“Chima I swear say some times, you nor get common sense.”
David said hotly.
They had reached the car and had opened the doors to get in.
“Wait…what’s that?” Chima said. “Listen guys, I’m smart
not to allow something as stupid as what’s happening to David to happen to me.
Yes, I’m not a wife beater but I enjoy women of different colours, sizes and
shapes and I am so careful that I can never get caught. Look at the two of you,
even though you pretend not to notice women aside from your wives, you haven’t
achieved much. Where has Fidelity left you? David, your wife still dey her papa
house and from the looks of it, her family no go ever release dia daughter to
you. Nathan, you’re forming holy and church-going, who dat one epp?” Chima
hissed and got into the car.
David was boiling he wanted to drag Chima out of the car and
knock him senseless but Nathan looked at him in warning.
“Dude…chill…” Nathan said to him.
David bit his lower lip, something he did to control his
temper and he got into the car, while Nathan did the same. Soon they drove off.
Thirty minutes later, they meet traffic and Chima who’s
seated at the back seat looks at his watch.
“Mehn, I wan go phone shop ooo…” He complained. “I need to
buy some kain gadgets.”
“It’s a Saturday, phone shops are open till about five or
six pm.” Nathan said glancing at his watch and seeing that it was still past three
“Ha! I get to meet my side babe today ooo and return latest
seven pm, I nor get dat kain time to sit in traffic.” Chima supplied.
Nathan didn’t reply and David who was still angry with
Chima, spoke to Nathan.
“How far your wife na? Why was she calling you?”
“Apparently, our new help who I dropped off at the junction
was nowhere to be seen.” Nathan supplied.
“That girl?” David asked. “Is she still with you guys?”
“Which girl?” Chima asked grinning from ear to ear.
“No girl.” Nathan said pissed at Chima’s attitude.
“Gist me abeg, una don get househelp wey you go dey do at
odd hours?” Chima said as he punched Nathan playfully on the arm from the back
seat of the car.
“You have such a dirty mind.” Nathan said.
“So, have you called your wife to see if she’s back home?”
David asked, ignoring Chima completely.
“Yea…she called me just at the end of the meeting to tell
me that Peace has gotten to her destination safe.” Nathan said.
“Okay but didn’t her agent show up again?” David asked.
“That’s a long story jare but to cut it short, my wife feels
that having a Help will help ease her of the stress of house chores then
conception might be quite easier.” Nathan said.
“Are you guys trying for a baby?” David asked.
“Yea…” Nathan said not too comfortable with the subject.
“Are you guys going for treatment? You know that fertility
treatments are not for the women alone but men too.” David said helpfully.
“Yes I know, I actually did a sperm analysis and stuff.”
Nathan said casually.
“Really? How was the result?”
“It was okay…”
“So the fault is from your wife?” Chima asked from the back
seat of the car.
“The fault is from no one.” Nathan spat.
“You dey dull ooo, if na me ehn, I for don hammer one babe
with pikin tey tey. Have you seen my twins? They were conceived on the first
night of our honeymoon which means I am a sharp shooter and my wife is an even
sharper receiver.” Chima bragged.
“Will you shut up? Don’t you know how annoying you are?”
David spat at Chima.
“What is wrong with this broken fellow? Is it because I
accompanied you to bring back your wife that you have the audacity to speak to
me like this? I nor blame you at all.”
“Keep talking Chima and I swear I’ll…” David said hotly.
“Calm down David…” Nathan said and turning to Chima, he
said. “Thank you for your advice but no thank you. Now, this discussion is
over. I blame myself for putting out information on my family in the first
“Duller! If na me, I for don bang dat maid tire….una two
nor dey act like man at all.” Chima said to his two friends angrily. “Anyway,
there’s goodnews, my wife’s due date is Tuesday so, expect my call for a small
hangout at my place to celebrate the birth of my new baby.”
Nathan feigned disinterest at Chima’s words but it nagged
him, he couldn’t wait for the ride to be over so that he could get back home.



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